Chasing Joy Written by; Hadley Esty- Lennon Anelle: your current pacing of the story is too fast. You launch from one thing to the other without fillers. Extend the story bits that aren’t nearly as fast paced. Her friend should die in chapter 10 or something. Have the reader learn about her fam (two mums maybe? (: ) before setting her onto the bus. Also when she finds out her friend is dead add some sort of flashback to all the good moments in their lives together. I’d suggest reading “The Truth Is” to get a good sense of what it is like for your main character to lose a best friend. Have fun with the story! Take your time! Prologue The girls brushed my shoulders as they passed,talking about who knows what.